This is a nice little read that I recommend but if you aren’t feeling it here is a list of the major points the book makes and some simple points Feldhahn makes we can remember:

Men would rather feel unloved that disrespected and unappreciated- Watch what you say and DON’T tease your man in front of others.

Men may look like they are in control but they often feel like impostors and worry about their inadequacies being found out- Affirm your man and be positive! He needs your support and it’s easy to give!

Men are born to provide- Guess what? It doesn’t make a damn bit of difference how much money you make, your man is still feeling the burden of providing for you. So if we complain he works too much it’s an issue since he feels the NEEDS to do just that.

Men view your sexual desire as an affirmation- It’s your DESIRE not your willingness that he needs. No, I’m not going into more detail figure that one out on your own. Here’s what I will say (and yes I did check this one out too) men are affirmed and gain a sense of well being from your attentions. And all this time we have been told men only viewed sex as a physical thing.

Men are visual- What the hell does that mean anyway? It means that men can look at a woman recall the image years later (I tested this today- it’s true and really disturbing) and guess what? This is an ongoing struggle for men and they like to look at attractive women. They fantasize, so if your man is having a bad day…on the outs with you…the chick on the Internet who LOOKS good won’t reject him or tell him he works too much.

Men are not unromantic- They don’t think they can be romantic and succeed. Plus, their idea of romantic is slightly different. Think about doing guy things with them and then topping it off with a little traditional kissie face or….more. Important point here- men think romance ends with sex. Good to know.

Men do care about appearances but it doesn’t make them shallow- I’m not touching this subject here. You need to get the book at this point and read it.

There are some great additional resources on http://www.shaunti.com/ including the men’s answers to the surveys that Feldhahn conducted as research for the book. Here’s the  ISBN 978-1-59052317-9 just in case.

Here’s what you don’t know if you haven’t read this series—it sends a seriously screwed up message to teenage girls. Bella, the main character, is a dysfunctional teenage girl with no self esteem and a thing for the most inappropriate boyfriend she could find. I think one of the worst moments in this series comes when she says that this man is the reason for her coming to town to live- no mention of  her dad or her mom- just him.

Edward is 108 years old— enough to be her dead great-grandfather— what does he see in a seventeen year old girl? Ewwwww! He stalks her, hangs out in her bedroom at night and when he isn’t doing that he’s out in the forest killing animals and drinking the blood.  This is all billed as being romantic. It starts in the first book and gets more and more dysfunctional from there. By the forth book is just plain weird.

Edward is a shallow controlling KILLER. Bella needs therapy.

We need to read the books our daughters (or in my case nieces) are reading and then discuss. This is the perfect opportunity to discuss bounderies with boys-self respect-expectations and goals.

1. Janet Evanovich-The Stephanie Plum Series plus all kinds of funny short novels. Janet will make you laugh out loud, which will make you look like a complete loon if you are out in public. If characters in ever start coming to life and pop out of books I hope it’s Ranger that shows up first!
2. Mary-Janice Davidson’s Betsy Taylor Vampire Queen series starts with Undead and Unwed–and Betsy established her addiction to shoe in the first twenty pages. I can respect that.  MJD does a few other series all of them a safe bet for a fun read.
3. Jennifer Cruise is one of my favorite authors of all time. Plus, she’s from Ohio so you’ll find Crispy Creme Donuts in her books! Two of my favorites are Bet Me and Faking It.
4. Charlaine Harris has never written a bad book and I would know I’ve read them all. There are three series to check out–the now famous thanks to HBO’s True Blood –Southern Vampires Series featuring Sookie (rhymes with cookie) Stackhouse, The Lily Bard Shaekspear Series and the Aurora Teagarden Mysteries. Lily and Aurora’s series are traditional mysteries, no WooWoo in them like the vampire books.
5. Laurell K Hamilton (no relation to Tad) Her Anita Blake and Merry Gentry are two of my favorite people to visit with. These characters come to life on the page and Laurell keeps them growing as the series progress so that you never quite know what will happen next. These are not for the faint of heart, sex, violence and blood shed populate these books. You couldn’t get away from that after all, Anita is a Vampire Executioner and raises the dead for a living. Merry is a Fairy Princess–you have to read this series of book they are the best political thrillers I’ve ever come across. Life as a Fairy Princess is fraught with court intrigue after all.
6. Kim Harrison has brought Cincinnati alive, and in her books, it’s a cool place for a  witch with an attitude to set up shop as a Bounty Hunter. Dead Witch Walking creates a world you will want to visit and characters you will love–or hate. Kim writes real people in supernatural circumstances, refreshing!
7. Susan Johnson writes historical as well as contemporary romance. The thing a love about her books is the tension she can develop between two characters. It’s fun to read since it doesn’t happen like this in real life, well not often anyway.
   
8. Laura Leone isn’t as well know as the rest of the authors on this list but I had to include her here. If you pick up her books up you won’t be able to put them down. Falling from Grace- which I found by chance at a used book store- moved me. Laura doesn’t pull any punches as she tells the story of a young man who was a street prostitute, it was a difficult read at some points, but I loved the characters. I hope you will too!
9. Susan Elizabeth Phillips will have you laughing and crying in the same chapter. I don’t know how she does it, so I keep re-reading her books to try to figure it out. It will take you quite some time to work through her offerings , set aside some serious reading time and enjoy the trip!

If you have any suggestions for us post them, we need all the books we can get!

Here are five movies you have to see:

Becoming Jane- The story of Jane Austen my favorite author who’s life as it turns out was just as dramatic and as moving as one of her own novels. After this movie you’ll get where she was coming from. Plus,  the love interest is played by none other than the fabulous and handsome James McAvoy.

Persuasion- This is the Jane Austen story I love the most. It’s about an old maid (who at the time was all of maybe twenty five) who regrets taking some bad advice and  lives her life at home with a terrible family when the man she loved and lost returns…

Miss Potter- The story of Beatrix Potter who’s children’s books are still the best selling of all time. I didn’t think I would like this movie and avoided it at Blockbuster. Then I caught it on HBO one day and was enthralled. Beatrix Potter had lived such an interesting life with a mother that …….well, I think you’ll like this one too.

Atonement- This a movie that is beautifully to watch even when they cover ugly territory. There’s something about this love story that moves you, it’s tragic and powerful. James McAvoy goes from being a passionate yet young at heart character to a….well, I’m not giving you all the details, rent it and grab a box of tissues.

Penelope-This one isn’t really a true romance as much as a fairy tale. I love this story and you should make the teens in your life watch it as if it’s a documentary. The story is about acceptance. And it happens to have James McAvoy. Have I mentioned that I love James McAvoy?

Most of these stories are not your typical romance, but they open us up to the question- Do all happy endings have to be immediately proceeded by a trip down the isle by a smiling couple who live the typical and unrealistic “happily ever after”? Can a happy ending look different? Can it be a life well lived that produced great art? One that moved people? How about the life of a woman that produced six of the worlds most loved novels but never married or had a child? Can your mothers opinion not matter is she’s shallow and nasty?

I’m just saying- but regradless of the deep discussion of what makes a happy ending these are all great stories. And James McAvoy is smoking hot!