Who is the Menopause Mafia?

My two older sisters are Mafiosos!

I tease the shit out of my sisters, can’t help it. We have decided that being a smart ass is genetic, so I have a valid excuse; plus I’m good at it.  That’s what I was doing the day I called them the Menopause Mafia. Then I realized that my two beautiful older sisters were like the mafia.  Not the drug pushing, gamble and whores kind of mafia. More like the PT Cruiser driving, hot flash and housekeeping kind.

But there are times that the strong-arm tactics are still there…

See, I’m the youngest, I’m not married (sounds better than divorced doesn’t it?),  no children and I just turned forty.

*GASP*

This makes my oldest sister a little nervous. She’s a yenta and so she can’t help it. It’s a bitch being a romantic with a baby sister who is slightly jaded, outspoken, a professional smart-ass and has really bad judgment when it comes to men.

It doesn’t bother my other sister too much, but we do get a whole bunch of laughs out of the weird shit men say.  This sister is the one who reminds me that we all can’t wait to get a man and then can’t wait for him to go to work-the garage-the yard or the local bar!

So just for my sisters, who I love more than anything-even my shoes- we created have this fabulous place to come together! The Menopause Mafia Baby, Yea!

There are plenty of Menopause Mafioso’s around (you know them or if you are reading this you might be one) they drive cute cars (sometimes in purple with little roses engraved on the windows, hello sister!) they have teenagers or twenty something children, they are on massive doses of hormones and chocolate, their husbands live in the garage, the workshop or in front of the TV. They have wicked senses of humor, groups of friends from different periods of their life and might have gained a few pounds.

Those are the women this site is dedicated to. These are the women who often get ignored, marginalized and blown off because they are too busy cleaning the house, working, making dinner and doing laundry- to stop and say, “Hey, I have an opinion over here!” Well, guess what tootsie? I’m here, the sisters are here, all our friends are here and we are going to talk about the things that interest us.

We’re going to talk about things no one else does!

For example:

• What not to say when asked “Mom, did you like him?” When your daughter brings home a jerk.
• What to do when your family can’t get along on holidays or 10 illnesses and how to fake them on Easter
• How to get a man to leave the room in 5 seconds or less
• Advice no one gives that they should or How to make your child think when they don’t want to
• Irish Diplomacy 101 or how to tell someone to go to hell and have them enjoy the trip

Okay, those might not end up in print or they might- you’ll have to stick around and find out!

Anything you want to talk about? Let me know, but be warned, I have been known to wax poetic about the dumbest shit. I’m not kidding, I once wrote a poem to a new fabulous shampoo (which BTW is a dandruff shampoo for colored hair! hello, how could I not?)  I recently had a friend tell me to write about problems and solutions. That’s simple right? So, what the problem?  Tell the Menopause Mafia!

***For the record-I’m not in menopause yet. Still regular, still getting the monthly visits from the period fairy (that bitch). I’m only an honorary member of the mafia –so there!