Posted by Jodi in 
I have a few addictions-books-caffeine- shoes. I realize why the first two are addictive but why do women have a fetish for shoes?
I have a theory. It all comes from fairy tales.
Of all the fairy tales we read as little girls the one that affected me the most is Cinderella. The moral of the story “you must be wearing great shoes to meet a prince” has blossomed into an addiction to shoes. I know that somewhere in the back of my mind I truly believe that you must be wearing the correct pair of shoes to meet a prince-thus my affection for shoes. Which is not actually affection, I’m just looking for a pair of the damn things that aren’t broken! I have some fabulous shoes and none of the damn things work. A couple pair have lead to princes who were gay or married. A couple pairs have lead me to very bad men. Shoe fail!
I know the exact pair of shoes I was wearing when I met both of my biggest heartbreaks. The day I met the BFF (his nickname is another story) I was wearing a pair of flat ankle boots in a light gray. It was 1985 those were stylish. A beautiful pair of Nine West rose pumps cut outs across the toes that I was wearing the day I met, let’s call him “Mr.Big” (he turned out to be Richard Wright), have been incinerated in the outdoor gas grill. I loved those shoes but I could never take the chance of wearing the damn things again.
I take this very seriously now. It’s not odd to see me having a “Come to Jesus” meeting with a pair of pumps in the morning as I’m getting dressed.
It sounds something like this:
Me: Okay, we are going out there as a team —that means you are not allowed to draw the crazies like you did last week at that charity fundraiser.
Pink Snakeskin Pump: It wasn’t me, you were wearing that uppity pair of Louis Vuitton’s you love so much!
Me: BS! It’s was you and if you continue to have such shitty taste in men you’re going back in the box and I’m duct taping it shut! You’re a Jimmy Choo for goodness sakes, have some pride!
Pink Snakeskin Pump: Whatever! That one guy was cute, you didn’t have to keep him, and I just wanted to dance with him!
So do you see the problem? Too many flipping fairy tales! We’ve got princes, talking shoes and are all running around looking for the perfect pair of glass slippers that will lead us to our very own “Happily Ever After.” What does everyone expect- Walt Disney and that damn talking teapot have been no help.
We grow up reading stories about princes and evil stepmothers, frogs and more princes, witches and mirrors. The older woman is always evil, the prince shows up to save the princess and they never have an argument about the laundry, the kids or the toilet seat being left up. She ends up with a family that loves her unconditionally; the prince always defends her and would never look as another woman’s ass. What crap! Let’s rewrite these fairy tales for our daughters!
I would do that, the whole re-write thing but I’m going shopping at Filenes Basement with the Mafia. We’re looking for purses and sunglasses-I swear!
Jodi Note: I just found this and had to add it to this post- enjoy When the Fairytail Ends and Real life Begins
Men- thank you for our beautiful children, but please go AWAY now, I’ll call when i need a fix!!!
Terri!
Don’t tell them that, they will figure out we are using them for what little skills they may or(may not)have!
True but aren’t they doin the same thing!!
Yes and no. I think we are better at it—they never ask us to come over when the plumping, electrical, yard or roof needs a fix!
so true! so true!
awesome. i think i have begun the shoe fetish phase..uh-oh! lol but I think I’ll take a chance and mesh my fantasies with reality, I could have a good outcome!
Miss Brooks!
First of all, great job on the site! Second, in your couple of features about shoes I’ve actually learned a little more about the phenomenon of the Female Shoe Fixation than my own research ever provided.
I once made the mistake of delving into the phenomenon on my own by going along on a shoe shopping trip with a girlfriend and her sister. To be honest, the prospect of what I perceived to be some easy ‘brownie points” turned out to be much more than I bargained for. This was an epic journey that spanned many malls and strip plazas. I was taken to store after store filled to overflowing with a multitude of footwear in every conceivable style and color. To my male mind there was no readily apparent difference in the offerings from one location to the other, but my guides seemed able to discern some subtle difference, as well as some type of order in their arrangement…a kind of Shoey Decimal System.
I began to suspect that they were testing me, making me run some kind of shoe gauntlet. I was determined not to crack but eventually they wore me down. I noticed that every time my opinion was asked I was giving the same answer,”Yea…those look great.” As I began to get delirious I started to fear that I had actually died in my sleep the night before and gone to Shoe Hell. Eventually with no rhyme or reason a selection was made and my ordeal was ended. While I learned nothing about the female shoe selection process, I did gain full understanding of the expression, “fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” A few days later we were out together and I noticed she was wearing the shoes that she had picked out that day. I’ll be damned if they didn’t look great on her!
Mr Lewis,
Thanks for giving us a little insight into that dazed look men get when we are shopping. I now realize that your eyesight is not as sharp as ours and cannot size up construction, hue, height and price from fifty paces across a busy department store while accessing the handbags, drinking a frappacino and discussing the latest novel we read with our girlfriends.
I will make sure from now on the leave my male companions at the book store for safety’s sake. We wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt during a Nordstrom shoe sale.